There’s a rumor going around. There are articles and experts claiming the way to emotional health and wellness for our children is through “mindfulness”, ‘meditation’ and ‘breath work’.
We are doing a terrible injustice to kids by circulating this half-truth. Especially highly sensitives, who live to move and FEEL all aspects of humanity, to express what moves them inside and out.
While mindfulness has its place, AND it’s purpose (for some), it is just one tool in the kit. If a construction worker is building a skyscraper and shows up to work with a plunger, he’s not going to get the job done. We’re not denying the plunger is a useful tool, but it’s certainly not the appropriate device to construct a building.
For sensitives (and other high needs children) ‘behaviors’ stem from a neurological electricity or impulsivity that crashes their system. It’s like a shock wave through the body. They must acknowledge the surge in a way that provides them an outlet in order to recalibrate whatever is sitting uncomfortably in their bodies.
Like lightning bolts, emotions/ feelings jolts data and information throughout the body. It stirs the senses and raises the hairs on their skin. They are filled with LIFE and ACTION. The only TRUE healing release is to chase the ‘shock’ waves out. The easiest way to release the charge is by jumping, running, dancing and more.
Kids need to be encouraged to FEEL.
They need to know they’re entitled to their reactions.
They need to feel secure in their process.
Our kids are just as fierce as the elemental powers around us, no one tells Mother Nature how to express herself…. the same applies to our children.
We have to be aware of what we’re teaching. If our kids believe there is “only one way” to reach emotional resolve we’re missing a unique opportunity to teach them the value of emotional expression. ‘Stillness’ is skill sensitives can’t understand or even master because their brains are wired to move sensation out. Commanding their silence tangles them up in this web of confusion where they can’t discern who they are as a vessel of movement versus who they’re supposed to be to appease the masses.
The highly sensitives are the ones with super powers. They hold lightning bolts in their hands… they don’t benefit from quiet minds and deep breathing. They must be given permission to feel the bigness of the world inside of them however it needs to be expressed.
There are countless ways, and the sensitives who move with the impulse of their nature are NOT wrong on broken. They are reminding us of what it means to be beautifully human.
A child needs to be received in his truth, and not everyone’s truth is meditation.
They must be supported in their specific learning skill set. Sometimes that learning ‘looks’ peculiar, but it does not lack in effectiveness.
We need to work with their ‘sensitivity superpowers.’ If we know they need motion, then LET. THEM. MOVE.
Dancers don’t sit and listen to music, they allow the melody to wrap their soul and express through dance.
Musicians hear tunes in the mind which begs to be expressed through musical instruments.
Painters use the limitless range of their bodies to boldly shape the canvas of the heart.
Expression and action are the emotional artistry of the spirit. Children revolutionize their story by living life out loud.
The fiery kid has a purpose too, he sees injustice and he will not stop until balance is restored.
The kid filled with sorrow must cry, she is filled with grief because sometimes the world can be a painful place to live. She weeps because she FEELS the pain of others.
Kids need to trust they are safe to express.
They need to feel acceptance for their perceptions.
They must be understood in their divergent nature.
Stillness for children is the ultimate torture; sitting in neat rows with even breath, insides fidgeting, begging for escape, outsides sweating, begging time forward, it’s like being mummified or buried alive.
We need to stop buying and selling this belief that kids need to sit still. because for some, it’s NOT healthy, it’s not realistic and they are not broken for it.
There are MORE solutions available other than breath work and mindfulness.
Incorporate a tolerance for action and witness transformation. Watch as they are filled with joy and purpose and lightness. Watch as their breath changes WITH an experience, for this is mindfulness in its own right. Watch as they cry and express and yell and scream their truth out loud, for this too has its rightful place.
Watch as they unfold when they are held deeply in their truth. Watch as self- worth, self- love and self- expression take shape.
Watch as the whole world changes, because our kids hold the key to our humanity, they’re here to remind us to feel. Our children are the ones who can teach us the brilliant artistry of our wondrous expression.