Where are we?
He looks at me with tears in his eyes. As if he’s awoken from a
The entire world uprooted right under his very feet.
He went to sleep, resting in the comfort that his world would keep turning the way it always had. Eyes open, the sun rose through a window that had never been in his room before.
Everything is different now.
Everything on this already strange planet has only gotten stranger, wilder, more confusing.
He spills out today, “I had to wear a mask while getting my hair cut.” I can translate the words that never leave his lips, I had to stare at myself in the mirror, into my own eyes, acknowledge my own pain. Every breath more painful than the last. Fabric stuck to my mouth, uncomfortable nerves frizzle in the air. The mask reminds me of all the hands slapped over my face, reminds me of all the ways I already feel silenced in an unforgiving world.
“Mommy, I am so lost. I want to follow the new rules. But I don’t like this at all.”
The tears spilled heavy on my shoulders. His arms weighted down under the pressure of what he fears he can never be.
I leaned into him and wrapped him as tightly as I could. His face buried into my shirt, wet with grief and sadness. Tears drip soaked in agony.
I fought every urge to clean up this moment, and listen.
“Everything is different. We can’t go
I felt the overwhelming urge to cry with him. I too felt the cosmic stretch of this Earth- shattering shift,
I too feel like the soil is quaking underneath my feet,
I too have lost the North Star in the sea as I navigate a vast ocean of uncertainty. It seems impossible to make them believe we have a
I am still. His ears to my heart, if nothing else I can remind him we are home.
He continues on; “Everything is changing, mommy, and sometimes I can’t catch my breath.”
After the tears subside I choose my words carefully,
“It feels like we’re on a voyage, we left our land. Maybe our land left us. Either way, we had no warning, just packed up what we could and moved on. The sorrow that pulses from losing that which we loved, without getting the chance to say good- bye. Of
We left the world we knew waiting and wondering what was next for us. Embarked on a journey into the tunnel of darkness, and we have only just now met ourselves at the edge of a new world.
There are new rules here. We’re meeting new people, defining new experiences, and redefining old ones. New isn’t bad, but sometimes it can feel bad since we don’t know what to expect. As we place our feet in the ground of this new land, with every step we take it’s time to learn and grow. Our job is to surrender to the mysteries unfolding.”
He squeezed me so tight, “it does feel like a voyage. I’m not sure I like voyages.”
Some of the new things are things we can not change (I gently remind him).
Some of the new expectations are ones that we may or may not utilize in our own home,
and some of the changes are going to challenge us to rethink the way we approach our way of living.
But the truth is, even though the land is new, you are home here and you are safe.
I see how hard this is for you.
The truth is some days you will collapse under the weight of these feelings. Living in a new land can feel scary. There are days that we need to acknowledge the way this surges in your body. With tears, or angry cries, or a healing talk.
There are no expectations, no right or wrong way to move through this experience. When you need to break down, you do exactly what you did today. Stop, drop, and cry.
Other days you won’t feel this bad. There will be challenges you overcome. Opportunities to seize. There is a new life to be lived into.
We are at the edge of a new world, my child. Your tears are perfectly valid. Your response to this is real. I hope on these days, we continue to suspend the pressure and lean into these small spaces that open you up to the depth of who you are as a deeply feeling person.
We are at the edge of a new world, my child. And I can’t wait to see how you respond to it.
We are at the edge of a new world, and there are still adventures to be had.
Don’t leave your resilience behind.
Don’t leave your trust behind.
Don’t leave your faith behind.
We are at the edge of a new world, my child but you and I are always connected no matter the distance.
Everything may be new and uncertain, but together WE are found.
Together we are home.
Together we will face this new world and become something we’d never dreamed we could be.
Together we will embrace the journey and make