I’m so sorry I yell.. sometimes… often times… okay, a lot of times.
Maybe I’ve been yelling more lately than ever, I don’t really mean to. I don’t mean to get frustrated, you’re just doing what kids do. You’re getting your energy out, you’re not [really] doing anything wrong. Well, except the littles guy throwing a Star Trooper down my stairs and at the piano, nope… not my favorite, that makes me yell-ee.
If I don’t say it enough, I think you’re incredible, all of you. In all different ways you’re all extraordinary. It fills my whole heart, my body, to my toes and out my eye balls. I love you with every fiber of my being. I really love you, as a kid, as a person, as an individual. It is such a blessing to watch you grow.
I am frustrated sometimes when no one listens…. or when you run into the street without taking someones hand.… OR when you forget to throw your trash away and the dog eats your cheese sandwich. (He can sleep in your room tonight by the way… ) OR when you run to the pool edge at the deep end and I feel my whole body surge in fear…. OR when I step on Lego’s….
I yell on the days my head feels exhausted. Usually when daddy is working night shift. It makes me cranky. I yell when I’m out of words, or have asked you 40 times before I even started yelling, or when I need to get the sensation out of my head.
But instead of yelling, I want to take the time now to remind you all the ways you fill me with love, life and purpose. I want you to KNOW that I LOVE being your mommy more than anything in the world, and my days are filled with sweet little joyful irreplaceable moments because of YOU. You are my greatest gift. I must not get lost in my anger and remember to SHOW you how important you are to me.
I love you, when you come in to snuggle at 3 am. I love the way you wiggle under the covers, tuck your head under my chin, pat my cheek and smile. Theres nothing else that compares to that.
I love when you get as excited by nature as I do. When you hear an owl, talk to a worm or see a hawk fly by. I love how wide your eyes get in wonderment at the beauty of nature.
I love your affinity for all livings things, the way you gently care for your pets and express concern for people and animals.
I love when you learn something new.
I love the way you create, through art.
I love when you shout “MOMMY!” and tug my hand to show me something new.
I love when you try new foods, and find out you LIKE it!
I love building Lego’s together.
I love when you read to me.
I love going to Disney with you!
I love the conversations we have together. I pray we always talk deeply about the happenings of your life. I hope you know I am interested in YOU. I hope you know my interest in your life has NOTHING to do with how I think you should do something, but in hearing about how you respond to lessons and experiences that I am not a part of. I pray you always feel safe to share with me.
I love how you constantly challenge me to rise up. How you teach ME to find new and creative ways to basically get out of my own way and let you take the lead. Every time I *think* I know what I’m doing, you remind me you know you better than I do. Please, know I do trust you. I want what’s best for you but I also hope you’ll continue to let me impart some mommy wisdom here and there.
I love you when you’re simply being you. There’s nothing that compares to the joy of being your mom.
I could list forever, all the ways you fill my life. But for now I’ll close this letter with a simple thank you. I’m sorry I yell sometimes, (and sometimes I’m not sorry ;-)) But beyond the yelling, please know I love being your mom. I love spending time with you. I love learning new things about you.
In everything you do, I love you more. I can’t wait for all of our adventures to unfold, together.