Episode 1. Part 1. How We Knew Our Children Were Highly Sensitive
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Theres a difference between exhausted parenting and toxic parenting.
There’s a seemingly infinite number of articles out there citing all the ways you’re screwing up your kids. You’re constantly being fed the lie that everything you do as a parent, is wrong.
What you really need to know is, you are not just a good parent, you’re an excellent parent… but you’re exhausted. When we parent from our exhaustion we fear we’re doing more harm to our children, than good.
if you’ve ever stopped to consider how your parenting will influence your children’s lives, chances are, you are NOT hurting
At the heart of parenting, you’re still a human. One that learns, grows and makes mistakes like any other. Just as your children learn and grow and that process is highly rewarding while simultaneously overwhelming at times.
I think MOST people can identify with exhausted parenting. You work, raise kids, maintain relationships, tend to older family members, run to extracurriculars, manage groceries, deal with the laundry, and occasionally find a slice of time for yourself to breathe a silent breath or two.
You’re tired. Some days more so than others. On those days, you yell, you’re cranky, or maybe even “mean” or snappy at the people you love. You may not have it in you to be nice. You work your ass off and feel as if people don’t notice. Everyone has their tipping point, it’s completely normal to wear your parent fatigue on your sleeve.
Exhausted parenting is the epitome of survival mode. You scream, cry, and shatter to the ground. You attempt to save it for the privacy of your bedroom closet, but it spills out of us, unwillingly at times, and guess what it’s completely okay.
Exhaustion means you mentally beg for relief, but never ask for help. Because people are quick to judge your not- enough-ness which leaves you recoiled in guilt. The idea that mom (and dad) really do need respite is met with scorn and your overwhelm is shamed. Instead of support in your devastation, you hear the intolerant whispers of, ‘what’s wrong with her? She doesn’t have it together by now?’
So you sacrifice your mental health and bury away your needs while you silently struggle inside.
You’ve been running on fumes since your precious babe emerged from your womb and you haven’t stopped since. And you don’t even know, because a 30-minute shower isn’t enough time to allow the truth of your depletion to emerge. It’s really only enough to refuel for the next 18 – 20 hours of non- stop parenting.
Because you’re consistently on low battery, it makes you prone to bite. You bark when you meant to be calm. Or you decide it’s only fair to expose the overwhelm so others know you’re in pain.
Exhausted parenting means you stare through your kid when they ask for one more snack.
It means you begrudgingly drag your ass to the bathroom when their little bums need a wipe.
It means you order them to find
It means sometimes you’re enthusiasm is lacking when something exciting happens in their world.
It means you release an exasperated “WHAT!” when you’ve heard ‘mom’ for 3 minutes straight.
Yet somehow, you manage to summon the strength inside, to show up when you know
Even if it’s half of you.
Even with bags under your eyes.
Even if it means sacrificing your needs.
Despite this unyielding exhaustion, you can give yourself permission to see how much you do for your children, every day. You always find a way to be better for your kids, and THAT is the true beauty of parenting with exhaustion.
Because God FORBID we moms
For the record, it IS okay.
It’s okay to be tired,
It’s okay to be touched out.
It’s okay to get it wrong,
and it’s even MORE okay to praise yourself for getting it right.
And yes, it’s even okay not to love every minute of momming. *GASP*
It’s okay to be exhausted, mom. You’re not a danger to your child for it. In fact, they need to see it. They need to know you’re only human. Humans make mistakes and are loved for it,
deeper for it,
and bigger for it.
The same way you hold our breath when they spill milk on the brand new sofa,
or feed the dog ice cream,
or put tampons in the damn toilet.
You get frustrated but you also know curiosity is healthy.
There’s this unspoken balance between the reveal of your frustrations and acceptance of their flaws.
Toxic parenting is not exhausted parenting.
Toxic parenting is;
Abuse, manipulation, disorientation, and unrealistic expectations the parent puts on the child. It’s not teaching the child how to survive/ thrive on their own. Toxic parenting is (physical/ mental/ emotional) neglect or deliberately tearing your child down with words. A toxic parent will focus only on the child’s mistakes.
Toxic parenting is setting the bar so high they never live up. It’s energetic torture because your child never knows how to mak the parent happy.
A toxic parent will be sure to let the child know mom (or dads) happiness lies in the hands of the child’s behavior. And if the child makes a mistake the parent determines as wrong, shameful, or unforgivable the child is punished for it.
Exhausted parenting means your human and a damn good one.
Toxic parenting is emotional, mental or even physical abuse.
Mom, I know you’re afraid you’re screwing up your child but there is a difference between exhausted parenting and toxic parenting, Even though exhaustion doesn’t feel good, it will not damage your child in the long run.
You’re fed this lie that all aspects of parenting is pure bliss, and by not enjoying every second, you’re somehow ruining your kids. The truth is, you’re living in a world where your worth as a parent is undervalued, and the standards are unachievable. And when it feels like you’re not living up, you start to believe exhausted parenting means you’re toxic.
Exhaustion isn’t scarring your kids. You are a good person who shows up every day for the ones you love most. That isn’t harmful, that is courage.
It’s time now, to speak up. Imperfect parenting is beautiful. You need to yell, cry and feel your truth. It’s not that you don’t love your kids, its that you feel overwhelmed by the high demand of being an everything mom in an unforgiving world. How are you supposed to maintain this level of work and not feel the sting of your own depletion?
It’s not supposed to be this way. You are entitled to proper self-care, a bit of alone time, respite, travel, or even a walk in the forest. Missing 3 hours of your children’s lives on a Saturday afternoon to go drive to the beach does not mean you’re abandoning your kids, it means you’re nourishing your spirit.
Yell if you must, you are not harming your child so long as your fire does not tear the village down.
Cry. as much as you need. Let your children see your sorrow.
Grieve, you are grieving as they grow and change, as YOU grow and change.
There are days you need to curl into your sorrow and feel its weight
You must feel safe to do that.
You must be encouraged to do that.
You must be empowered to turn your Mothering into living art.
You must feel the power of your meltdown, for it is the magic wand that waves the path of true change.
And the more you do the things that fill you up, the more room you have for the ones you love. The more you demand balance in self- care, the more joy you find in parenting. Because the moments that suck, you’ll have permission to feel it, and the moments that are good, feel REALLY good… And the more you display compassion for your needs, the easier it is to maintain the balance of what is right for you AND your kids.
You are a strong, capable and caring woman… do NOT allow those around you to convince you your exhaustion is somehow toxic to your family. Your mothering is a gift, you are the answer to their prayers and you must take time to say yes to yourself if you are to continue saying yes to those around you.
My kids are highly sensitive. That means they’re strongly influenced by Earthly and cosmic occurrences. They feel the energetic vibration of their environment, and to subtle changes in those around them. They react to extraordinary events like weather changes. My highly sensitives are bombarded with sensation stimulus both inside and outside of their bodies. From the busyness of home, school and extracurricular actives to the sun’s dance with the stars, they feel all the worldly influences shape, rip and tear at their very limbs.
Sometimes the weight of it all gets the best of them.
One of the strongest influences in my children’s lives is the moon. Their need for a physical outlet is unavoidable. They become more ‘touchy’ and emotional, tears and rage at the ready. They cross boundary lines, initiate sibling ‘wars’ and dream vividly disturbing dreams.
Basically, our house becomes a giant wrestling ring and I am the woman in the middle with the whistle. It is my duty to create a safe space for my kids to express. As I always say, “it’s okay to be angry… it’s NOT okay to kick your brother in the face.”
The moon reminds us to feel our bodies. She calls us into the epicenter of our being. Drives us away from logic in order to force us back to her deep inner knowing. She represents a guide map of feeling our way through tumultuous times. She is the intelligence of our body and intuitive nudge into the brilliant chaos of living out loud.
Our children speak her language. She magnetizes and draws the buried feelings out to the surface, and our children are soothed by Her knowing. They lean into this rather than run from it and welcome permission for action.
Our sweet babes experience their own feelings, sensations, and even trauma around the quiet demands of childhood. They too need to express the rumbling wounds in their achy bellies.
The expectations are high for little minds and there is minimal room for error.
If they are imperfect, they are punished.
If they fidget, they are labeled.
If they have a bad day, they are scorned.
Childhood is an excruciating experience for many children who are not loved for their individual art of expression and for some, a full moon is the only chance to set this truth free.
Deep down our kids biggest fear is that they’re losing the battle between ‘badness’ and ‘goodness’.
But the moon is what glimmers hope around an invisible path.
She reminds them who they are, is no accident at all.
The way they feel the world is completely normal and natural.
She calls them to stand in the glorious imperfections of humanity.
She urges them to be curious, daring and vibrant.
She is the sound of the native drum that calls them home to self.
It is the quaking of sensation that must be unleashed and matters not WHO sees this, or how it is done. It matters only to howl, kick and scream until they are purged of their sense of lack.
The moon gives our kids an outlet and reminds them to follow the natural impulses of their bodies, to dance, and stomp out the warrior within.
We must commit to seeing the importance of our children unapologetically ‘wolfing out’ to their moon song. This is not a reflection of our lack as parents, rather our children’s deep desire to unleash the ancestral pain trauma inside of them.
It is imperative we allow our children the sacred space to transform. We, Mothers, can see the truth of this. We can feel it humming inside of our depletion, we know our children’s desire to be good collides with their inherent need to be free. We see the glint of our children just before they shapeshift to the werewolf.
We are the medicine with powers of love, acceptance and nurturing. They need us to see the healing purpose in their moonlit eyes while they growl, bark and sneer in their own Divine Right.
It’s okay to send the wolves out into the woods to run and howl while we deeply reflect on our own path. It is equally as important to see how these behaviors are not only completely natural but should be expected while they grow and learn.
Do not forget; you dear Mother, have your own transformation to attend to.
You Mother, are the guide on your children’s journey and you will know how to call them home when it is time.
Encourage your younglings to dance, sing and howl.
For this is no reflection of badness or goodness, it is the simple joy of answering the call of the wild world.
The moon is a powerful influence in all of our lives. She is here to nurture and guide us back to our natural state. She is the Mother calling you in, to whisper the strength of compassion and command you see the purpose of raw emotional power. Choose to howl with her and allow her messages to set you free.
I’m so tired of listening to people complain about millennials and the participation trophy.
So let’s. have. a chat.
Now I am NOT saying there are not self- entitled young people in the world today. But I find it fascinating that the laser light of that label shines directly on the backs of millennials alone when the poster child of self- entitlement now sits in the most influential political chair in the United States. (But I digress)
My point is: Self-entitlement is NOT a generation ….. it’s a mindset. It is a LEARNED trait.
May I ask, where do you think the self-entitled millennials LEARNED this behavior?
Let’s dissect the accusation that millennials ‘suck at life’ because they were given participation trophies for showing up.
Where in the fuck do you think they got awards for such things? WHO DO YOU THINK HANDED THEM PARTICIPATION TROPHIES?
In order for your argument to be concise: this would mean 20 years ago, a group of 9-year-olds decided they wanted to give themselves and the opposing team trophies for good effort.
Seriously, think about this, logically for one second. We all know No kid in the history of time ever came to the conscious decision to stop keeping score. Kids keep score. Kids are competitive. Humans are competitive. It’s COMPLETELY natural. PERIOD. THE END.
No. No, NOPE. This was an ADULT decision. This was (probably) a pissed off parent (mom) who, I’m sure did a great job of convincing the other parents of the debauchery of losers and winners. They were probably the loudest voice in the bunch and everyone played along.
Do you know what the symbology of a participation trophy is? It represents a portion of parents/ coaches/ and “adults” who Didn’t want to deal, so they gave kids shiny things to shut them up.
That’s right…. the millennial generation, ‘we’ were the “too much” kids. We were a new wave of sensitive only to learn, sensitivity was not acceptable. We weren’t mushy though in fact, we were fiery as hell. We got PISSED when we lost. We were angrier than adult men who just lost the super bowl, we didn’t just cry, we MOURNED. We FELT the collapse of worlds inside of us. We kicked, screamed, and wore it around like a badge on our chest. We let the rains of our failures dance across our skin as we hid in the dark replaying each mistake over in our minds.
But, we also clung to the hope that YOU (mom. dad. coach. teacher etc) would accept this part of our processing, and you didn’t.
Sure, we WANTED to win. and we “wanted” to (learn to) lose, but more so, we wanted to believe it was okay to feel sad about it all. Instead, you took it personally, threw your hands up and said, “Just give the kid a trophy and be done with this already!”
Instead of teaching us.
Instead of sitting with us.
Instead of leading us through our experiences.
We wanted to learn! In the “easiest” way possible through childhood athletics, games and muted ‘safe’ places that losing was a stopping point on the train of life. We wanted to learn that feeling upset was just as important as good sportsmanship.
Losing was never the problem, this was about intolerance to our perceptions.
We knew losing was supposed to suck. It wasn’t meant to be a ‘good’ feeling. Losing is a part of life. It means teaching hard work, effort, practice, sweat, blood, tears and 110% effort can sometimes mean it may amount to FAILURE in the end.
Failing is terrifying. This means putting it all on the line for something we believe in with no promise of reward. And somewhere deep down, I sort of get why some parent would want to save their kid from the never-ending emotional sting of defeat. But risk-taking is an art that must be taught.
And without failure, you’re taking away the rich reward of resilience.
My kid is 9 he still asks what the score of his soccer game is. Even though ‘they’ don’t keep track, I do. And I’m happy to tell him who is winning or losing. He’s searching for fuel, for hunger, for DRIVE. Motivation (for sensitive people) churns up from coming face to face with the external data that agrees with the sensations roaring inside of us.
I can teach my child to respect the opposing team and still have a passion for the game. I am willing to deal with loss. I am aware he’ll have his own response to it. I am not afraid of his rage, despair or his grief. He’ll learn, sometimes it’s a no and that’s brutally painful. I’ll be there to hold him through it while he learns how to process it.
That way when we fast forward to his adulthood and he loses his first real job, he’ll grieve his first rejection, and he’ll understand it may not be his last.
That way, when he puts his heart and soul into his first real project and it gets passed over, he can move through the sting of it while he simultaneously digging into his resilience.
That way when a love interest turns him down he can deal with that appropriately and learn to harbor a sense of self- worth that is not contingent on this person’s yes or no.
We must agree that each child has a different response to life experience and there is NO right or wrong in that.
But these things are TAUGHT through (self) acceptance. And if you come in contact with a person who violently rebels against rejection, that means they were never given permission to unlock their inner power and rise.
As for us [millenials],
you ‘didn’t want to deal’ with our emotional response and that is self- entitlement in its own right.
You didn’t approve of our sensitivity so you found a way not to.
We’re still trying to figure out how to appease you all the while finding the freedom to have our own thoughts, feelings, and responses to our experiences.
Instead of your leadership, we’re stuck listening to you rant about the entitled millennial.
Our limitations were somehow a reflection of you and we’re still recovering.
And we’ve had enough.
What we’re waking up to is the reality that we have to quit living to your unrealistic expectations and find a better way.
We’re the generation willing to take responsibility. We won’t be afraid. This isn’t about you or your agenda anymore. It’s about a whole NEW generation of even MORE sensitive kids than ever before.
Give them a chance to be human.
Guide them through the ups and downs of life.
Give them a fighting chance to fail.
Give them space to be emotional.
Then show them how to claim their self- worth.
It’s time to smash the illusion of the participation trophy. We must stop circulating this belief that numbness is the cure to life … because It’s not.
Stop trying to even a playing field that will NEVER be even because it’s not meant to be. Let’s start living inside the rise and fall of the human experience and rebuild the resilience of the human spirit.
It’s what we’re all truly seeking.
There’s a rumor going around. There are articles and experts claiming the way to emotional health and wellness for our children is through “mindfulness”, ‘meditation’ and ‘breath work’.
We are doing a terrible injustice to kids by circulating this half-truth. Especially highly sensitives, who live to move and FEEL all aspects of humanity, to express what moves them inside and out.
While mindfulness has its place, AND it’s purpose (for some), it is just one tool in the kit. If a construction worker is building a skyscraper and shows up to work with a plunger, he’s not going to get the job done. We’re not denying the plunger is a useful tool, but it’s certainly not the appropriate device to construct a building.
For sensitives (and other high needs children) ‘behaviors’ stem from a neurological electricity or impulsivity that crashes their system. It’s like a shock wave through the body. They must acknowledge the surge in a way that provides them an outlet in order to recalibrate whatever is sitting uncomfortably in their bodies.
Like lightning bolts, emotions/ feelings jolts data and information throughout the body. It stirs the senses and raises the hairs on their skin. They are filled with LIFE and ACTION. The only TRUE healing release is to chase the ‘shock’ waves out. The easiest way to release the charge is by jumping, running, dancing and more.
Kids need to be encouraged to FEEL.
They need to know they’re entitled to their reactions.
They need to feel secure in their process.
Our kids are just as fierce as the elemental powers around us, no one tells Mother Nature how to express herself…. the same applies to our children.
We have to be aware of what we’re teaching. If our kids believe there is “only one way” to reach emotional resolve we’re missing a unique opportunity to teach them the value of emotional expression. ‘Stillness’ is skill sensitives can’t understand or even master because their brains are wired to move sensation out. Commanding their silence tangles them up in this web of confusion where they can’t discern who they are as a vessel of movement versus who they’re supposed to be to appease the masses.
The highly sensitives are the ones with super powers. They hold lightning bolts in their hands… they don’t benefit from quiet minds and deep breathing. They must be given permission to feel the bigness of the world inside of them however it needs to be expressed.
There are countless ways, and the sensitives who move with the impulse of their nature are NOT wrong on broken. They are reminding us of what it means to be beautifully human.
A child needs to be received in his truth, and not everyone’s truth is meditation.
They must be supported in their specific learning skill set. Sometimes that learning ‘looks’ peculiar, but it does not lack in effectiveness.
We need to work with their ‘sensitivity superpowers.’ If we know they need motion, then LET. THEM. MOVE.
Dancers don’t sit and listen to music, they allow the melody to wrap their soul and express through dance.
Musicians hear tunes in the mind which begs to be expressed through musical instruments.
Painters use the limitless range of their bodies to boldly shape the canvas of the heart.
Expression and action are the emotional artistry of the spirit. Children revolutionize their story by living life out loud.
The fiery kid has a purpose too, he sees injustice and he will not stop until balance is restored.
The kid filled with sorrow must cry, she is filled with grief because sometimes the world can be a painful place to live. She weeps because she FEELS the pain of others.
Kids need to trust they are safe to express.
They need to feel acceptance for their perceptions.
They must be understood in their divergent nature.
Stillness for children is the ultimate torture; sitting in neat rows with even breath, insides fidgeting, begging for escape, outsides sweating, begging time forward, it’s like being mummified or buried alive.
We need to stop buying and selling this belief that kids need to sit still. because for some, it’s NOT healthy, it’s not realistic and they are not broken for it.
There are MORE solutions available other than breath work and mindfulness.
Incorporate a tolerance for action and witness transformation. Watch as they are filled with joy and purpose and lightness. Watch as their breath changes WITH an experience, for this is mindfulness in its own right. Watch as they cry and express and yell and scream their truth out loud, for this too has its rightful place.
Watch as they unfold when they are held deeply in their truth. Watch as self- worth, self- love and self- expression take shape.
Watch as the whole world changes, because our kids hold the key to our humanity, they’re here to remind us to feel. Our children are the ones who can teach us the brilliant artistry of our wondrous expression.
We may feel ‘it’ for no reason. Except maybe we’ve numbed ourselves to the pain. We may attempt to repel it, fight it, move around it. We may ignore it or stuff it into our bellies to let out at a ‘better’ time. But Anger is a part of our make up. It is the gateway to evolution.
Anger is a fickle threshold of catastrophe and purpose.
Our anger has harmed so many before, and we hate ourselves for it. We’re so unforgiving to ourselves when it spills out. We’re so cautious, OVER cautious of allowing it to happen too often… if ever again.
We’ve used our anger to tear down others, we’ve misused our anger so many ways we’ve forgotten just how necessary it is to our human development.
Anger lives in us. Others recognize it without words or action, it’s the very trait they fear in us. It’s due to our rage we’ve been cast off, chastised and abandon. Because of all the ways, anger has been demonized we’ve become terrified to reveal our fire because we’ve been banished for it in the past.
It’s the lava that moves in our veins, a part of our natural makeup and yet; we pray it away, cry it away, and breathe it away. When it happens to slip out, ooze from our mouths. We quickly blot it from the corners of our lips and profusely apologize for its existence.
But while we’re trying to maintain a societal standard of acceptability by pretending the fire doesn’t dance within us, all the while our bellies are aching, filled with the burning sensation of all we desire to set free. All we hold inside that needs air to fully live. Our bodies ache for healing. A healing that can only move to form by this authentic release. It whispers its discomfort and scorns our sad attempt to bury what is ours to feel.
All the while we’re piling anger on top of our frustration,
for being forced into the silences,
for being condemned for what we feel,
for looking at a familiar landscape with different eyes.
And we’re mad as hell because we see life differently,
We’re angry because we feel it differently, it “gets us into trouble” and it’s so damn DANGEROUS for us to feel this way.
They don’t know the burden we bear just by being the carrier of the flame.
I need to tell you though, your anger is not broken…
Your instinct to YELL is natural. Your eyes blur and your ears go numb as it bubbles to the surface, no longer gripping at your womb. It travels up, your throat and bursts like lava through a volcano. Your anger was never meant to be contained, and you need to start believing that is okay to feel this way.
What no one ever taught you, was your anger possesses wisdom.
Your fury has form,
It commands presence and shapes new worlds.
Your anger is a gift if you choose to harness its power.
And before you back away, I need to remind you of all the injustices that sparked your frustrations to begin with
All the times you spoke and no one listened,
All the times your femininity has not had a place,
All the times your intuition was blatantly ignored,
All the times your feelings were dismissed because they contained no logic,
All the ways you so desperately sought out boundaries only to be infiltrated by your abusers,
All the people that watched you suffer and left you for dead,
All the people who poured their emotions out for YOU to carry only to be abandon in return,
All the YEARS you suffered silently waiting for ANYONE to lend you a hand to hold in return.
Your heart has been kicked around and it fucking hurts,
and you will not stay silent about it forever.
You’re yelling because of the immeasurability of these grave injustices. You wailing at the mountains edge because of the pain you’ve kept trapped inside and your body can no longer retain the ferociousness you’ve forced into the dark caverns of your mind.
You’re mad and I don’t blame you.
You’re mad because you’re drowning in ‘the flow’ of others, which feels like TORTURE in your body.
You’re outraged at the constant abusive whip of demand when all you really need is a bit of acceptance to pump life back into your lungs.
You’re desperate for permission to FEEL whatever it is you NEED to without persecution.
You’re overwhelmed and it capsizes your temple vessel while someone grabs at your hands and demands you to sign away all of your emotional rights.
Your right to feel ‘too’ deeply.
Your right to point out the reality of inequality.
Your right to pursue the truth.
Your right to journey down YOUR path.
It’s no wonder your anger surfaces at unmanageable times. The emotion comes up for ‘no reason’ but really it’s hidden away thousands painful soul crimes minute by minute. You’re mad, and you deserve a chance to expose your anguish. You deserve a chance to unleash all you’ve held in for the comfort of others.
MAKE them uncomfortable. SHOW them what you’ve been living with. Channel your fire into raw naked passion and light the whole world up like the Fire Goddess you were always meant to be. Let them drop their jaws in stunned silence as you flicker and glow your brilliant truth.
Your fury need not turn to wildfire and burn the village down but channeled successfully into your howling wolf woman, you are free to strip away your mask and reveal the essence of your flawless nature.
You see, Fire Goddess is in complete control of the blaze. She sparks bright and commands her ancestors to circle and revere the enlightenment of her rage. She is center stage, dressed in an alluring red gown drinking the elixir of the wolf spirit while she sings out her soul song and commands the compassion of her tribe. She narrows here eyes and growls at her accusers while she refuses to succumb to the fear of her ferocity. The Fire Goddess has evolved from Cinderella silently scrubbing away the worldly mess of others and becomes the beacon of hope for other women to be just as courageous as she claims her voice and cries out NO MORE.
Your anger is worthy.
Your story is worthy.
Your truth is worthy.
May it be loud, may it be purpose-filled, and may it forge the path ahead so you may never be pressed under the thumb of abuse, ever again.
If people fear the bark of your voice, go on and let them cower, because at least you know, they will listen. They don’t have to know you’ll never bite. And you’re free to walk away from ANYONE who does not respect your flame.
You may shake, you may tremble as the entire Earth quakes in your skin, But you must be courageous enough to continue revealing what you’ve been holding back so long.
Maintain the direction of your fire, as it blazes UP into the sky. Construct the container that gives your story form, hold nothing back… you may be angry but you will do no harm. Fire Goddess calls you to recognize your anger is NOT an attack, but an opportunity to deliver messages and create barriers to safety and security.
And if it takes your anger to set you free, don’t be afraid, for constructive channeled anger is your passion turned right side up.
So go on, release your fears, light the sacred candle of your fire goddess heart and burn bright for all the world to see.